Hunting Season Certificates

Official Licenses for Backyard Safari Enthusiasts

⚠️ For Entertainment Purposes Only

These certificates are 100% satirical and for fun. No actual hunting is involved or endorsed. All proceeds support wildlife conservation charities. Please don't actually hunt anything – especially not political figures. That would be illegal and we don't have the budget for lawyers.

Choose Your Quarry

Select an animal to receive your official hunting season certificate. Prices shown are for 1-month seasons.

Indian Myna
From
R75
per month

Indian Myna

Acridotheres tristis

The feathered invader with an attitude problem. Master of the parking lot and sworn enemy of indigenous birds.

Parakeet
From
R85
per month

Parakeet

Psittacula krameri

The escaped pet that decided South Africa was better than captivity. Now living their best feral life.

Hadeda
From
R100
per month

Hadeda

Bostrychia hagedash

The infamous dawn alarm clock of South Africa. Known for their spectacular 5 AM wake-up calls.

Neighbor's Dog
From
R120
per month

Neighbor's Dog

Canis annoyingus

That one dog that barks at 3 AM, digs under your fence, and mistakes your garden for a bathroom. Season includes unlimited "shoo" permits and passive-aggressive neighborly glances.

Donald Trump
From
R500
per month

Donald Trump

Homo trumpus

The orange-hued political creature known for building walls and tweeting storms. Natural habitat: golf courses and golden towers.

Want to hunt something else? Add your own animal or... "target" 😉